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Sunday, 13 April 2008

i went to church today. finally. it was a refreshing feeling to be back in areumdaun church. i was too busy to go to church these days. but then again, that'll be only my habitual excuse. i was too busy being a selfish boy and too busy living my own life. that'd be the right reason. there were so many things happening, and apparantly, i wasn't able to handle all that. though, i thought i could. i was into the point where i needed help. a big help. i needed someone who can be my dependence and reliance. so i thought of Him. only because i was ridiculously overwhelmed, tired, and exhausted. and yes, only because i was in bad shape. i'm just a little selfish boy.
i prayed and asked for forgiveness. nothing felt different, but for sure i wanted to come back here again every sunday. i am thankful for what i am, and thankful for all these situations, and thankful for everything.
-
okay, besides me going to church, it was our 100 days anniversary. during those 100 days, it was time and opportunity to get to know her more deeply. it was an time for us to bump into each other with our own differences. but it was also an opportunity fall in love with her. I can't say i know her fully, but i know more than before and will know more in future. not just as a different gender, but more like person to person. it is now our time to make our love bigger and bigger.
can you tell? i am in love.

i think the word "beautiful" fits you the most to describe.

everytime i thought of her, i wrote down my feelings on those cards. and then put all those cards on the ceiling to show her.

i am sorry, but i think we're cute.

we boastfully left our marks.

amazing perfume. Versace Man Eau Fraiche. Thank you.

the reason why i smile everytime i drive.

Sunday, 30 March 2008

What are the goods for working at Quiznos? Of course, I get to have my own sandwich but only when the manager isn't around. I have a free choices to put anything I want to, then tada! a new sandwich that is not even on the menu is born! I am a healthy eater, so I just put everything...
While working at Quiznos, I see so many people with different faces, and different characters. Pretty, ugly, fat, skinny, rude, nice, funny, and just whatever. But today, I was able to meet someone very special. Well, just for me I thought. It was a deaf men that came in to our store and ordered one piece of sub. He showed me the paper menu and pointed out what kind of sandwich he wanted. I was able to fully understand what he was trying to show. And there was women next to him. I was able to tell that they are in love together just by looking at their hand motions, actions, and face expressions. It saddened me how they are not able to say and hear each other. There's this a strong expression word "I love you", but they are not able to say or hear that. However, it was beautiful.
I am starting to get some enough money for my car gas, phone bill, and for my girl friend. That's good thing.

@CPK. California club pizza. It was the most delicious pizza I have ever tasted.

She's also an artist. We just can't avoid to see any art pieces.

I look happy, don't I?

Monday, 10 March 2008

Happy and sad at the same time.
too much emotions are appearing at the same time. those emotions are getting mixed up and it just leaves an emotion that is undefined. i should say, i am happy though. i am happy to be what i am. thank you.
i won't breakdown. i am strong.

Tuesday, 04 March 2008

Isn't it ironic how people get easily imbued by the unfortunate society? Or is that just natural? Living about twenty years gave me a big realization of how this ddong society make people so nasty. I've always had this mind that I will never become one of them, but sadly, I've come to realize the fact that I am one of them. It saddens me how people are so locked up in this world, and never able to express or free their own characteristics. Money is definately one of the biggest issue that we all have. Money changes people, and it did to me too. Due to lack of money, I've become so stingy, hard, illiberal... I can't think of the right word. Such a sad reality that world has made me change...
I need money for a lot of things. I need to pay for my phone bill, car gas(the price is so f-ed up these days), and bill for electricity at home. Seriously, I am only 19 years old, just like any other regular young-adult who must have fun, party, drink, and love. I also have a girlfriend, who I need to express my love as much as I could. But with this sad reality, it limits my power... my authority.
I don't really like to whine, but I just get piss sometimes. But, this is not who I am. Even with these kind of climax, I try to look for better answers. I try to be optimistic(at least pretending to be). If I fall, I lose, and that's not my goal.
Lately, Daeun has been worrying about her university. She's still waiting for an acceptions from Parsons, in New York. If she does not get an acception letter, her and I won't be able to be together. Could this be another ddong reality that makes our love fall apart?
haha, I'm not gonna let that happen for sure. I control my love, not the society.
-

Current me. This is when I was about to go to work.
Can you tell? I am hungry.

Feel so empty without her. hahahahahaha... eh.

I do anything make her happy. My art skills are pretty useful sometimes! :)

This is what I do when I'm bored. hehehehehehehehehe.......

Wednesday, 27 February 2008

So, here it is.
I finally decided to update this xanga once again, just to fill up my story of my life, just to be remembered. I am now working at Quiznos(where they make the most delcious sandwiches... should I say?). I am still new to things like being a cashier, taking orders, making sandwiches, and most of all, greeting customers with fake smiles. It drives me crazy when some customer say something and I can't understand a word he/she saying. I hate myself repeating 'excuse me?', 'what's that again?', 'I'm sorry?'. Isn't it ironic? I lived in United States for freakin' 9 years and I am still having a trouble with communicating.
Sandwiches at Quiznos are really nice. I know how things are working, how they are prepared before serving. I say it is much better than subway. Why didn't I ever been to quiznos and been to subway? More ironically, I still haven't had a single sandwich in Quiznos yet.
Valentines was good, I had a good day. Few days after, it was Daeun's birthday. I wanted to do something very special, something no one can ever imagine. something that can be remembered forever, something that perfectly expresses my feelings. So what I did was I made a exactly 20 minutes long video of myself. A lot of edittings, thanks to SVA school where I learned the amazing skills. The clip was about myself. What I do, what I think, what I eat, and whatever when I am not with her. There were clips of myself working at quiznos, delivering, greeting customers with my best smile, working out alone, jogging, reading a book, drawing, sleeping, eating, thinking of her, listening to music, and just whatever things that comes up to my mind. It took me pretty long time, one good week to finish it all. I also recorded things that I always wanted to say, but couldn't when I was with her.
and gladly! she told me she had a best birthday present ever. I was totally, extremely happy. just happy.

on valentines day...^^

At home.

what I do when i'm bored.

Why I smile everytime when I am on my table.

training tkd once again